Kellan
I have had a terrible night and only managed to sleep for an hour in total, ten minutes here and there due to stupid nightmares. I used to have them every night, but they have eased over time and only appear occasionally. I hated them. It was like a vivid replay of my past. My adoptive parents have been trying to get me to go to therapy for years, but I haven’t gone because, to me, it is showing weakness, and I am not weak! I refuse to be weak again.
I sigh, checking the time for what felt like the tenth time tonight, and the clock read four o’clock. I had been in bed since midnight. I hesitantly climb out because there is no point in staying in it if I can’t sleep.

I grab my phone, head to the kitchen and make myself a cup of lemon tea. It won’t help me sleep, but it helps calm me down, and it is a better choice than scotch. I decide to sit outside to enjoy the fresh air. I sit my tea down, opening a text to Elsie. I wanted to call her, but I am sure she would probably be sleeping, so a text would do.
Hey, angel. I know it is late, but I can’t sleep, and I just wanted to text to say hello. Text me in the morning x
I wish she were here with me because if she were, I wouldn’t be feeling like this. There is something about her that calms me. I don’t like the feeling of needing her in a way because it isn’t me, but I have become fond of her and having her around. It gives me something to smile about.
I close my eyes, draw in my breath, repeating it a few times, and finally begin to relax. I get pulled out of my state of relaxation with the sound of my phone ringing. Who the heck is calling at this time? I check it, surprised to see Elsie calling. Why is she awake so late?
I scoop it up, answering it, “Elsie, what are you doing awake so late?” I ask, “I got up to use the bathroom and noticed your text. Are you okay?” I can hear the concern in her voice.
“Just having a bad night. I am fine. You should go back to sleep,” I insist, “No, because I can hear it in your voice, Kellan, something isn’t right. What is going on?” she asks softly.

“I have nightmares sometimes and tonight is one of those nights, but I don’t want to talk about them,” I say firmly before she starts asking questions.
“Do you want me to come over? And I promise we don’t need to discuss it. I can just be there with you.” Her tone is gentle. I can’t have her coming all the way over here alone at this time.
“You can’t come all the way out here alone, Elsie,” I sigh, “I don’t mind. I will be there soon.” She hung up before I had a chance to say another word.
Why would she do this for me? I would rather her not come here, but only because of the time of the night and I know she is working tomorrow. On the other hand, having her here may help me sleep.

I finish my tea outside and go back inside to wait for her. She would probably be a little while by the time she organises her things and drives over. I check to make sure the house is tidy. It is. I need to occupy my mind until she arrives. I don’t watch much television, but right now, I would, only for a little while. I take a seat on my sofa, find something to watch, picking an old movie. I prefer old movies to more modern ones.
I find myself getting lost in it until I hear my front door. I switch the tv off, quickly going to answer it. When I open it, she is standing there, still in her pjs and an overnight bag in her hand.
“Hey,” she says, smiling brightly, which is enough to make me feel a little better, “Hey! You didn’t have to come, but thank you.” I reach for her, bringing her to me and kiss her softly.
“Yes, I did,” she replies as we part. I close the door behind us.
“Do you want anything, kitten?” I question, “Nope, just bed.” She giggles. I chuckle, nodding and take her bag from her. I use my free hand to rest on the small of her back, guiding her to my bedroom.
I place her bag down, and she slips into my bed, and I join her only a moment later. Elsie rolls onto her side to face me, and I follow suit.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she whispers, stroking my arm, “No, not really. I am sorry, but I am not ready to discuss my past with you.” I am all for honesty.
“Okay, I won’t mention it again, and I respect your choice.” She smiles, reaches in and kisses me softly.
I don’t know if I will ever be ready to share things with her. Everything is still so new and strange. I appreciate her not pushing because if she did, I would probably snap at her.
“I really do appreciate you coming over, Elsie,” I lean over, stroking her face, “It is no problem. I could hear it in your voice that something was wrong, and you were lonely.” She has a sweet soul and shouldn’t be with someone like me because she deserves better.
“Let’s try and get some sleep,” I suggest, “Good idea.” She agrees, not questioning any further.
I pull her into me, kissing her goodnight. She moans into my lips, kissing back and resting her hand on my chest. I smirk into the kiss and then separate my lips from hers, “Sleep, angel, we have work tomorrow, but if we wake up early enough, then we can have some morning fun.” Elsie rolls her eyes but finally nods.
I switch the light off, Elsie turning her back to me because that is how she sleeps. I scoot closer, pulling her body into me, her back against my front and snake my arm around her.
“Sweet dreams, beautiful,” I say, kissing over her shoulder, “Goodnight, handsome.” She replies, linking her fingers through mine.
I close my eyes, my body and mind feeling at ease by just having her here. I just hope I don’t talk in my sleep or shoot awake from a bad dream because then she will ask questions, and I may need to answer them.
It doesn’t take long for Elsie’s breathing to become shallow, and she falls asleep. I listen to the pattern of her breathing, and it helps calm me, and I soon find myself beginning to drift off too.