Chapter five
My eyes slowly drifted off to Brenda who was also looking at me with tears in her amber eyes, I just smiled at her and pour myself a glass of water from the jug that sat on the small fridge by the bedside.
I took a sip then slowly lowered the glass and looked in to the water, my reflection staring back at me.

I continued.
****
To think about it, I didn’t know if I was really a coward using Gale’s mom as an excuse.
Was I just afraid to get in to a relationship, if so can you blame me. It is hard for relationships to work these days.
Or maybe I was just afraid of him leaving me and ruining our friendship.
Yes, I was thinking about his mom. How will he live without her mom?

The truth is that I was just convincing my self hoping one day to believe in all my reasons.
I talked with Becca for a few minutes before she left, she didn’t mention Gale, and I was grateful for it.
She tried cheering me up and I gave her fake smiles not to hurt her feelings but truly it wasn't working.
I was then left alone to my broken heart and empty apartment with photos of Gale, Becca and I on the high desk next to the door.

I picked a brown flame and it was a photo of me and Gale, my lips curled in to a bitter smile.
It was the day he took me to the cemetery where his father was buried, it was the first time I saw Gale so emotional.
I remember sitting in front of his father's headstone as we talked about our lives, pasts and futures or dream.
After we went to a pizza house nearby and met Rebecca who had taken this photo using her phone.
I wiped a tear that had fallen. In the photo me and Gale were smiling, with his arm wrapped around my shoulders.
I was so close to Gale, and people who saw us from a far would definitely think we're a couple
Holding hands, sitting on his lap. Kisses on the cheek or forehead and many things that I never thought deep in to it.
These simple things meant a lot to me and Gale and I never gave them much meaning, I pulled the frame to my chest and sobbed quietly.
Why was I so blind to the feelings that were growing between us, feelings that are far beyond friendship.
Was Gale missing me and thinking about me the way as I am doing.
But what right do I have to be thinking about him, he belongs to another woman.
I failed to sleep that night, my mind drifting back to the man I love more often than I wanted to and, I couldn't sleep either.
I was afraid of how my day would turn out if I didn't have a beautiful night sleep.
But after a few hours I slowly cried myself to sleep.
I pondered on what Gale had said. Did he mean it, will I see him again some day? Will this day be sooner than I know.
Tomorrow was a big day for me and I wanted to share all about it with him, I wondered if I could call him or I should be a bit patient.
I was going to start working, finally my dreams were coming to reality, I could now take my life to the next level and if everything comes out okay maybe one day I will go back and visit mother Pauline.
Morning didn’t take long to come and, I struggled to wake up; my whole body felt drained and weak.
If it wasn’t my first day at work then I would have stayed all day in bed.
I felt a huge head ache start to form as I pushed my self in to a sitting position. Throwing my legs over, I finally managed to get off the bed.
I felt like a zombie as I made my way to the bathroom that was joined to my room.
I loved this new apartment, it had two bed rooms, one simple living room and a small kitchen with a dining.
Even though it did cost me much, I loved it. My thoughts drifted back to the diner and I remembered that I didn't call Maggie to inform her about the change in work for me.
I decided see her later after work, I knew she would be so happy for me and I would be able to properly say goodbye to her and Patricia.
By the time my thoughts came to a halt, I was also done dressing. The black cocktail dress stopped exactly below my knees and it hugged my curves nicely, I added a black jacket to make it look more professional.
Combing my hair back, I pulled it into a tight ponytail and, added a simple pink lip gross. I couldn’t help but stare at my self in the mirror, I had never dressed up this good and of class. It felt so good.
I remembered the day that Rebecca bought me this dress, I kept saying no to her, but she insisted telling me that I will need it one day.
And that one day turned out to be today, I grabbed the black heels and the designer handbag, placing all that I needed in the bag. I walked out of the apartment, while I was hailing a cab I realized that I had only twenty minutes left.
I found my self more nervous than usual as we neared my new work building, I couldn't stop playing with my fingers.
Was this where I was meant to be this time of day? I may have the books but can I really manage this.
Sweat beaded my spine and I wiped my palms on my dress, I pondered on whether I would be able to manage.
I remembered what Mother Pauline used to tell me and, I whispered to my that ' I can do this ' hoping it would help me gain my confidence back.
Can manage this without Gale on my mind cause if I dare to think of him I will create more and more mistakes.
The cab came to a halt and I stepped out after gathering my stuff. I paid the driver and watched as he drove away before fully turning to the tall building.
I shuddered in fear but then I could also feel excitement rushed through my veins at the sight of the biggest law firm in town, it's building high and tall.
People passed by me some pushing me a side and glaring at me but my eyes only settled on the skyscraper.
I certainly couldn't believe that my dream of working here had come true.
From today and onwards my station would be here, it felt so amazing.
My lips curled in to a small smile and I smoothed out my dress, hoping that I looked okay to working here.
I started walking forward until I was in front of the glass doors that slid open when they sensed my presence.
I was greeted by the guard I replied with a smile, then continued until I was standing at the huge reception desk next to the series of elevators.
“Excuse me Miss " I whispered, surprised that my voice didn’t waver at all, the blonde girl slowly looked up giving me a genuine smile. “How can I help you Miss...”
“Amelia… Amelia Rose “ I replied firmly and watched as the girl’s eyes locked me up and down in understand before she looked away.
She placed two cards on the desk, one was my work ID and the other I couldn't understand what it was for.
On seeing my confused face, the blonde receptionist gave me a sweet smile then started to explain “ that’s for your new house and the car will arrive soon”.
My eyes widen and my jaw dropped, I couldn’t believe that they give me a house and company car.
It was so generous though, I felt like a part from surprise it weighs nothing to me, I knew I couldn’t say no to this, so I just nodded.
I was not okay with leaving in a company house or using a company car, I mean why am I working again.
I wanted my own hard worked things, so I didn't let this excitement to settle in to my mentality and make me forget all my ambitions in life.
“Miss…” the receptionist's voice got me out of my reverie of thoughts, “ Take the elevator to the third floor, the receptionist there will show you your cabin, we wish you excellence in all your work Ma'am. "
I nodded with a smile, good enough I had done my internship or else I would be under training now.
I walked in to the elevator, trying to contain my excitement. The doors dinged closed and I leaned back, my thoughts drifting back to Gale, I never even told him that I was starting to work today, yet I never hid anything from Gale.
I found my phone, so I could inform him but I stopped my self realizing our current situation.
I felt that deep pain that I was trying so hard to conceal in me, the pain of loving someone I will never be with.
I silently closed my eyes, her hand moving to my chest and I sucked in a deep breath.
The ding sound pulled me back to my senses reminding me of where I was, I stood properly and blinked my tears away.
My heart ached badly and I started to regret why I had dared to think of Gale. The elevator doors opened, and I stepped out with my eyes lowered. I was trying to hide the sadness on my face until it was blank.
As I took another step forward, I bumped in to someone, I stumbled back and lost my balance, landing on my bottom.
Papers were flying around me, landing on the floor next to me.
“Miss… “ A deep voice whispered, I couldn't look up at all. The little pain in my bottom was like a switch for my tears as I failed to hold back.
“I am so sorry “ I whispered while getting to my knees, I slowly started to pick up all the papers on the floor.
Everywhere had gone silent, and I felt so ashamed to even look up at all. I couldn't believe that on my first day I had become the center of attention.
I bit down on my bottom lip hard to avoid sobbing, and I tried to rub away my tears with the back of my hand, but I was failing miserably.
I continued to pick up the papers, I didn’t know why of all times I was crying at a moment like this.
Why did I fail to control my tears, why am I so vulnerable like this, why was so overcome by the pain in me?
“Miss…” I heard that deep voice again, as a hand was placed on my shoulder. My eyes snapped up to it and I finally turned to its owner.
Even though my vision was blur there was no way, I could miss the bluish gray eyes that looked at me with worry, wavy blonde hair and high cheek bones. He was very handsome but he was not my Gale.
“Amy…” I looked up name at the sound of that voice. Becca looked at me with worry and I got back on my feet holding out the papers to this man.
He stared at them for a while then at me before he took them out of my hands.
I ran in to Becca’s arms hugging her tight, I realized that most eyes were on us as I had thought but now all I just needed was comfort, and she held me tight.
I loved this girl so much for always understanding me without trying so much.
I held on to her for dear life but neither did she complain.
“Amelia “ That voice that pulled strings at my heart, my whole body froze and my green eyes snapped open locking with those brown eyes that were on me.
My heart drummed hard in my chest and I pulled away from Becca, I wondered how long he had been standing there while watching me.
“He dropped me off “ I had Becca whisper but I didn't care anymore.
My blur eyes were still locked with Gale's brown ones as my breathing deepened.
He was dressed in a beautiful black suit, his chestnut hair combed back and his lips were in a thin line.
I could see the pain in his brown eyes, and I lowered my eyes hoping he didn't see my pain.
I held out the back of my hand and rubbed my tears away, my lips curled up in to a small weird smile hoping he would think that am okay.
“ I was told that today you will be starting to work and… I wanted to congratulate you “ he whispered then stepped forward.
I felt so confused on what he was going to do next. He, too, seemed nervous but slowly his arms wrapped around me, pulling me close in a hug.
My heart thudded against my chest and I laid my head on his chest, my eyes falling close and my fingers curled around his coat.
I didn't want to let go at all but I had too and it hurt so much, I felt his hands move away and I took a step back.
My heart sunk in pain.
“Am so proud of you " he whispered, his longing eyes on me.
He turned to Becca. “I have an operation to handle in an hour, so I will be on my way "
He said placed a kiss on her forehead and walked out.
I felt all energy start to drift out of me and I held my ground, that hug did certain things to me if only he knew.
But do I deserve to expect anything from him after hurting him.
“ Are you okay “ Rebecca asked as she grabbed my bag and phone off the floor.
****
“Why didn’t you tell him that you love him… I mean you got a second chance to see him again that day?” Brenda asked.
“Because I was afraid that he would leave me after I have handed my everything to him, and I was a coward “ I replied, and she nodded in understanding.
“Your story is interesting “ She added as the nurse walked in with a tray of medicine.
I was glad that at least she was listening to my story and enjoying it.
After taking my medicines I decided to continue as we waited for the food Brenda had ordered, she seemed to be getting impatient.